Is God Calling Me?
Check your expectations
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One of the most common questions the Christian asks in a life of discernment is, “Is God calling me to…?”
But what I’ve learned over the years is that while most of us say we want to know if God is calling us to something, we don’t actually know how to know if God is calling us to something.
Most of us tend to operate with an unspoken assumption about what “God calling” actually sounds like. We might laugh at the idea that “God calling” means that our phone is ringing… but we kind of secretly do expect something that obvious.
We remember Moses and the burning bush, Joseph and the angel in a dream, Paul and the blinding light and think: I’m waiting for God to write it in the clouds.
We pray, “God, if you’re calling me to…, then make it really obvious.” And by obvious we mean: “shout it from the Heavens, please.”
Our unspoken assumption is that “God calling” looks like lightening bolts: strangers approaching us on a street corner out of the blue to say: “you should move to Uzbekistan!” Or random job opportunities (whether we want them or not) falling into our laps: “hey my cousin has an opening at his company, and you’d be a shoo-in!” Or that handsome new guy at the church singles event walking up to say, “I’m going to marry you someday.”
But if you haven’t noticed, most of the time, God calling doesn’t look like any of these things.
Look, God can speak however He wants. He’s God. And sometimes, he chooses really wild ways to communicate with people. (Really wild. Like a donkey.) But these are extraordinary circumstances.
We would do well to learn with Elijah, that although God’s voice could be heard in the fire or the earthquake, it’s often in the still, small whisper.
God usually speaks in ordinary ways: some combination of the movements of our own hearts in prayer, external circumstances, and voices of people that know and love us (and want us to follow Him, not them.) There’s no formula to figure it out, no calculations that can be done to gain perfect certainty.
But we can get to know God’s voice over time. If someone reports something that a close friend supposedly said, we can reply confidently, “well, that doesn’t sound like something he would say.” It’s possible to get to know the Lord with that level of intimacy.
The Ordinary Ways God Speaks
We know God speaks his Word, the person of Jesus Christ, whom we get to know through the written words of scripture and living prayer of his bride, the Church. This acts as an objective measure for us: if what we think is His whisper is in any way contradictory to His Word, it’s not God calling.
We can ask people who know Him well to pray and listen with us, to help us discern. The wisest ones won’t try to be a “medium” and tell us what God is saying - instead, they’ll help us learn to listen well.
And over time, we can get to know the ways He usually whispers to us, which isn’t always the same way He whispers to others. You might feel your soul moved by the quiet of nature; your friend might experience His presence in sacred art; your neighbour might hear Him most clearly in service to the poor. God is universal: we are not. When it comes to personal prayer, it’s natural to have some ways that work better for us than others.
Next week, we’ll talk more about learning to listen as bodily creatures and how that can help our discernment.
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(Prayer) Journaling Prompts
In the meantime, here are some questions to (prayer) journal with:
What assumptions do I bring to the idea of God calling? When I ask Him to speak to me, what means do I expect Him to use?
Are these assumptions realistic? Are they in need of adjustment?
Am I satisfied with being ordinary? If not, what’s my behind my desire for the extra-ordinary voice of God? Fear of uncertainty? Pride? Fear of making a mistake? Something positive I can’t articulate?
Have I taken time to cultivate a relationship with God where I know what He sounds like?
Do I know how He usually speaks to me? If not, how can I start paying attention?
Learning to listen to God’s voice takes time and practice. What have you found to be helpful in cultivating the habit of listening well?
What a beautiful reflection! I resonate with waiting for God to speak in a dramatic way for fear I'll just interpret my own inclination or sense of duty and desire as God's call. Recently, I made a major life decision, and in the process I had a pivotal conversation with a mentor. Among other things, what stood out was how God's people play a role in our discernment process - up to that point (and to this day) every person (all wise, believing, caring people) who I've discussed this decision with have responded enthusiastically and supportively that the opportunity I was considering sounded like a perfect fit for me and that they would support me regardless of what I chose. The conversation and their support (regardless of outcome) gave me the confidence to trust God's call in my life. I feel such peace with it now and am watching God provide in beautiful ways.
Loved this. Very timely for me and personally, I quite enjoyed the audio especially while trying to get the kids ready.