Are You Prone to Catastrophizing?
How planning for the worst case scenario can be a gift; and how to let go when it's not.
When something goes wrong, do you give it a lot of headspace? Do you imagine all the ways it could continue to morph into a giant mushroom cloud of problems? Or perhaps you make sure to think of all the ways something could go wrong before it does?
Maybe you’re excellent at reviewing all the ways things did go wrong, and the myriad other ways they might have?
If you answered yes to any of the above, you might have a tendency to catastrophize.
You may have been accused of “making mountains out of molehills,” or being a “worrywart.” You might feel guilty for feeling as though the worst case scenario is always the most likely scenario.
Two Sides to Every Catastrophizer
Catastrophizing can be burden for the catastrophizer, and for the people around them. If you have this tendency, or you know someone who does, you probably already know the burden of it. But, like most things in life, catastrophizing can be a double-edged sword.
Someone, after all, needs to think of the worst case scenario in any given situation. Imagine a camping trip that didn’t anticipate foul weather or poisonous insects or hungry predators: everyone is better off for someone having made in-case-of-an-emergency plans. Imagine living in a part of the world prone to natural disasters: someone in California needs to make sure every new building can withstand an earthquake. Imagine a fire department where no one knew what to do if someone got trapped in a burning building! Thinking ahead, planning for the worst disasters, imagining how to respond when emergencies happen – this is a gift.
The trouble is, this gift can become a burden when it is our only posture towards the world around us. Sometimes we need to be crouched and ready to spring, yes, but sometimes we also need to be able to sit back and relax.
So what’s a catastrophizer to do?
How to Deal with Your Own Catastrophizing
1. Helpful or Harmful?
First, recognize the double-edged sword for what it is, and ask yourself if thinking of everything that could go wrong is helpful or harmful to the situation. Is the thinking fruitful, or are you caught in a doom cycle?
Is thinking about the airline losing your luggage helping you to pack more effectively for your trip, or is it just stressing you (and your whole family) out?
If you’re not sure where you are on the helpful-harmful scale, it can be useful to ask:
What actual actions is my catastrophizing causing me to take or not take?
What is my attitude towards others in the midst of it? (Am I impatient, irritated, and easily angered? Am I gentle, kind, and patient?)
Am I operating primarily out of fear or peace?
Do I trust God and feel called to plan well, or am I burdened by feeling that everything is up to me? Have I asked others for help? Am I unwilling to cede control by asking for help?
2. Is it Mine to Do?
The helpful element of catastrophizing involves planning for things to go wrong, whether that takes the form of a thorough risk assessment, or a well-packed first aid kit.
But sometimes we find ourselves worrying or even planning for things that are entirely out of our control. We might watch the many catastrophes on the world news and think that we could do a better job getting foreign aid to refugees, or dealing with a dictator. And who knows? Maybe we could! But the question remains: is that mine to do? Are we being called to volunteer or run for political office? If so, that’s the next step in what is ours to do. If not, we’re spending valuable energy on something entirely outside the sphere of our influence, when in fact, we could be spending time on things that are ours to do, within the sphere of our influence.
This is an area where practicality is immensely helpful. Do you have a pragmatic friend? Give them a call and ask them to help you sort things through. (I do this sort of thing with my clients regularly.)
Make a list of all the things you’re tempted to catastrophize about, and ask your friend to point out the areas that you can:
(A) obviously do something about (like packing an extra blanket on a camping trip or getting an electrician to investigate potentially faulty wiring in your house)
(B) obviously not do something about (like changing the course of a world war)
(C) potentially could do something about (like starting a charity to help the homeless in your town).
Do the items in list A, commit to praying without worry about the items in list B, and start seriously discerning the items in list C.
(If you’re not sure how to discern, that’s what I help people do! I’ve written a whole series about discernment on my website, or you could get in touch for a free 30 minute call to see if life consulting is a good fit for you. Hit reply or email me at info@claritylifeconsulting.com.)
3. The Mind-Body Connection
If you find yourself on the unhelpful, unhealthy side of catastrophizing, help your mind by using your body. The mind of a catastrophizer is an amazing labyrinth of hypothetical scenarios, possibilities, and occasional corners housing fear-mongers. But you are not only your mind, you’re a body-soul unity, which means that your mind and body need to work together. (This is much easier for some people than others.)
Try forcing your body into strenuous activity for at least 20 seconds. Run in place, tense all your muscles, punch or scream into a pillow. If you’re athletic, a long run or swim or cycle or dance session might be even better. Let that adrenaline and cortisol flow out, rather than keeping it all inside. You might find that you actually want or even need to rest after that. If so, take a nap! It’s exhausting to always imagine the worst.
Another trick is to give your hands a repetitive action: fold towels, pet the cat, knit a few rows, dig up some weeds. If your body is still while your mind races, it’s easier to feel out of whack. Let the thoughts flow, but do something while they do. Bonus if you can stick your hands in good clean dirt or sand or water. God made us material creatures - we’re part of the natural universe and sometimes in our hyper-digital culture, it can be easy to forget that.
4. Pray about It
When you’ve given your body and mind a chance to catch up to one another, it might be time to take your catastrophizing tendency to prayer. Be honest with God about all your fears and worries. Maybe you’ve been hurt in the past, or caught off guard by the failures of others. If, ultimately, you find that you catastrophize because you don’t trust God, or you feel like He’s let you down before, tell Him. (God can take it. Read the psalms! There’s some serious honesty in there.)
Pray about whether or not it might be helpful to talk to someone — a good friend or therapist or wise mentor can often listen well and help us to see things we can’t, either about ourselves or the wider situation.
Ask for the grace to see what’s under the surface, and the knowledge of how this tendency can be helpful (or harmful). Ask for the wisdom to use it well, and release it when it’s no longer useful.
Chances are, if you’re not a catastrophizer yourself, you probably know someone who is. Top tip: saying, “don’t worry!” is almost never helpful. :) Instead, you might try offering to listen to their worst fears, or go on a walk with them, or help them plan for something so they don’t feel so alone. You can pray for them, and let them know that you are. You could also share this article.
I’d love to hear from you: do you have any experience with catastrophizing? What has helped you? How do you use the gift to help others?
You can comment below or hit reply to this email.
Wow. I was literally catastrophizing as I opened my email—you break this down so beautifully!
Yes! - she yelled out just reading the title in her email.