Be Experimental
It could help your discernment
Discernment can involve a lot of experimentation. At the very least, it requires an experimental mindset: sometimes you can’t know whether something is a good fit without actually trying it out. Sometimes, thinking about something more isn’t actually going to lead you any closer to a decision.
But here’s something I’ve noticed about well-meaning people in the process of discernment: we can have a strong sense of commitment. We want to be people of integrity. We want our words to mean something. So if we say “I’m going to move to Arizona,” and then it doesn’t work out, we can end up feeling like failures. Or disingenuous. Or like we misled people.
Wanting our ‘yes to be yes’ and our ‘no to be no’ is a good thing. It’s crucial when it comes to moral matters. When we marry, or take permanent vows, we mean them. But when it comes to non-moral matters, it’s ok to change our minds. In fact, sometimes quitting is a great idea!
But if you find yourself slightly allergic to changing your mind, here’s a little practice that might help: just say that you’re experimenting.
Instead of saying “I’m moving to Arizona,” just say, “I’m going to try moving to Arizona and I’ll see how it works out.” Or, “I’m going to try taking up pottery.” Or, “I’m going try cooking at home more often.”
Now, this little tip works well for the people I described above: those who are deeply committed to whatever they say. But some people are actually way down the other end of the spectrum. They love announcing a new project, and have no problem when it fizzles out. “I’m joining the softball league!”; “This is my year to become a baker!”; “We’re buying a farm!” I’ve actually noticed a good number of people like this online - they’re eager to share, but they tend not to address the fact that a year later, there’s nary a softball, muffin, or cow in sight. Again, these aren’t moral issues, so if someone decides they don’t like softball, then quitting may be the right response.
But the enthusiasts can probably benefit from phrasing their plans in experimental language as well (perhaps less for themselves than for the other people their plans affect.) “I’m going to try playing softball this summer,”; “my goal this year is to perfect a gooey brownie recipe,”; “we’re dipping our toes into farming.”
And what helps everyone, no matter where you fall along that announcement-commitment spectrum, is to give that experiment a timeline.
Creative coach and author
just completed a 30 day writing experiment on her substack. When it was over, she shared her reflections:“Note: I made sure there was an ending. Without an end date, things can too easily drift into obligation. The experiment could become a lifestyle I might not want to live! Setting a clear start and finish felt like a gift to myself.”1
Now isn’t that insightful? Without an end date, what starts as an experiment can become an obligation to live a certain way indefinitely!
The truth is, discernment requires more than just thinking, and even more than just praying. Those things are good and necessary. But if we forget to take action - even just short-term experimental action - as part of the discernment process, it’s like sitting on a three-legged stool without the third leg: the probability of collapse is high.
So the next time you’re thinking about taking on something new, whether it’s moving somewhere different or learning a practical skill, it might be helpful to consider how you can engage in a time-limited experiment in order to discern that thing better.
And if you’ve ever thought about working with me 1:1 - Why not schedule a free 30 minute call as an experiment?
There’s no obligation and if I don’t think I can help, I’ll be honest about that, and I’ll try to refer you to any resources that might serve your situation. (I’m very opposed to ‘sales’ calls that pressure you into something that isn’t a good fit!)
I’m going to be conducting my own business experiment in 2026, so these free 30 minute calls might not be available in the new year. My rates haven’t gone up since 2022, so it’s time for me to think of some new ways to keep the lights on at home :).
If you’ve been wondering about getting in touch, now is a good time. And if you’re just curious? That’s ok, too.
Email me: info@claritylifeconsulting.com
What My Clients Are Saying:
“I received much clarity on the things that I wanted to “clear up”. There were also other areas of my life that changed to the positive - areas that I usually avoid out of discomfort- and that I hadn’t really thought of for a long time. Kerri helped me to take control over my life - all the different aspects of my life, to make my life much more manageable and holistic.”
“I am now going to be intentional about the rhythm of my days, especially after identifying the lack of balance from our first exercise doing my life inventory. I’m also going to embrace working interactively with God, listening to how He wants to work through me throughout all ages and stages, and getting out of this ‘should’ or black-and-white mindset. I feel equipped to grow in prudence and gratitude with tangible tools I can take onward.”
“I’m very very grateful for my sessions with Kerri! I loved speaking to someone who also has a faith and could help me see my life from God’s perspective. I’ve just given my first two workshops and I had a lot of imposter syndrome first. I then thought of what Kerri said that the main thing is my presence/time and love - that that is what is the most important. That gave me a lot of peace. I look forward to signing up for some more sessions soon!”