Do You Rest?
Rethinking what it actually means
Last week I shared a few quotes to inspire rest. Today, I’m diving into why it’s non-negotiable and what it might look like for you.
How’s Your “Rest” Life?
When I start out with a new client, I ask them to fill out a simple “life inventory” sheet, in which they note how they’re feeling / what they’re thinking about different areas of life.
Rather than numerical ratings (which personally drive me crazy), each client can select a range of applicable descriptions, from “there’s always room for improvement, but I’m generally content,” to “I have no idea how I feel about this,” to “I’m ready to make a change” and many other options in between. Sometimes, they select more than one description.
The categories are pretty straightforward: spiritual, social, financial, career, etc. But the category that most of my clients have the most difficult time with? “Rest and refreshment.” Some leave it blank, some put a question mark, some say that they feel like they sleep enough, but most don’t really know what it means.
Isn’t that interesting? I have clients from multiple countries and different walks of life, and across the board, the idea of ‘rest and refreshment’ as a key part of life feels a bit strange. Rather than an indictment of my wonderful clients, I think it’s a reflection of our Western, growingly secularized culture.
The life consulting I offer is done within the context of a Christian perspective, and as Christians, we believe that rest is our end. Heaven is rest!
The problem is, we’ve got a weird notion of rest, and a weird relationship to it, so when we hear that heaven is rest, some of us groan inwardly, or wince at the idea of sitting still or doing nothing for all eternity. Fortunately, that isn’t exactly what rest means, although it might be part of it.
The Biblical & Traditional Understanding of Rest
Throughout the Old Testament, and particularly in the book of Exodus, God is leading his people on a journey away from work and into rest, which first and foremost means worship. They’re to stop with the making of bricks for a foreign god (Pharaoh) and come away to a mountain to rest and worship their own God. Obviously, Pharaoh isn’t so keen, and the story of the ten plagues, culminating with the miraculous crossing of the red sea out of Pharoah’s territory is a show-down story: who will win the hearts of the Israelites? God or Pharaoh?
Even after a miraculous escape, the people of Israel find themselves longing for the good ol’ days of slavery, where at least they had onions and cucumbers to eat. They’re not keen on this whole resting in the desert situation. So they get quail, by the bucketfuls. They get miraculous bread that lasts only one day except for the sabbath: when they’re called to rest, the miracle lasts twice as long. Eventually, they are given a written set of instructions by God almighty who includes rest on the list: “honor the sabbath and keep it holy.” We are commanded to step away from work.
Just to keep his people on the right track, God also introduces them to a whole calendar of feasts and seasons, some weekly, some annual, some every seven years - but underneath it all is the lesson that time belongs to God and we are to mark it accordingly: sometimes fasting, sometimes feasting, sometimes working, sometimes resting.
The early Christians continued these practices, with the resurrection making our Sunday the day of rest. Biblical scholars, historians, and theologians will spill much ink on the details of how it all works, but what we’ve inherited is two-fold: our Sundays now include the necessity of communal worship, and refraining from unnecessary work.
That’s another way of saying: we believe that our weeks begin with rest.
How Do You Rest?
So after you head to church on a Sunday, how do you rest? This is the part that people often struggle with. We tend to think of rest as sleep or inactivity: just lying about recovering from the flu and struggling against boredom, but this isn’t necessarily what rest is.
Rest takes many forms, and varies for different people or even different seasons of life for the same person.
First, it’s usually not the same as our paid work. At the very least, it’s not taxing, laborious, or stressful.
Sometimes, the line between work and rest gets blurry in an age of passion-based careers or side hustles. In those cases, good discernment is necessary.
A gardner does manual labor throughout the week; to rest on Sunday for her probably means not gardening, or at least, not gardening in a heavy-duty way for pay. She might find pottering about the dill and dahlias restful; only she knows.
A writer whose career it is to write might refrain from working on paid article pitches on a Sunday, but he may enjoy playing with a poem a bit. Only he knows if he’s being called to step away from words all together for the day.
A business owner couple will hold back from checking their books and working on taxes, but they might enjoy browsing for some new merchandise online - or that may be their ‘excuse’ to work without working. Only they know where the line is.
Deep-down honesty with yourself and God (and probably your people, too) is required.
Second, rest depends a lot on us, personally.
Some people enjoy binge-reading a novel on the sofa; others love nothing better than a restful half-marathon. (Really, these people do exist! I find them fascinating.)
Extroverts often come away from a big party feeling that they have more energy than when they went in; introverts will likely need some time on their own or with a few close friends.
Some people find talking restful; others find chit-chat tiring. Some people find being indoors restful; others find the great outdoors refreshing. Some people need to move their bodies through time and space; others need to move their minds through a fictional scenario.
Know yourself and steer clear of the temptation to compare. There is no one specific best way of resting for everyone.
Third, there are different forms (or perhaps ‘hues’) of rest.
Consider the following words, all getting at the same reality, but from different angles:
Relaxation
Rejuvenation
Recreation
Restoration
Renewal
Refreshment
We might come away from a period of rest feeling more relaxed, or more restored, or possibly even renewed. We might experience a time of rest as refreshing or rejuvenating. We might plan forms of rest that are also recreation.
For many of us, expanding our notion of rest beyond just sleep or inactivity broadens our possibilities for actual rest.
Questions to (Prayer) Journal With
If you, like many of my clients, don’t really know how to think about the place of rest in your life, you might find these questions helpful. Take them to prayer, journal with them, or mull them over with a good friend:
Do I take the commandment to rest seriously, or do I treat it as optional?
What would a restful Sunday actually look like for me, in my current season of life?
What is standing between me and the ability to rest?
What is one baby step towards rest that I could take this week?
Tell me: do you rest? Is it something you’re intentional about? How do you incorporate it into your weekly rhythms?
If you’re uncomfortable with the idea of giving rest a significant place in your life, you’re not alone! Next time, I’ll share some things that might get in the way of our resting well.
These are some very helpful distinctions, Kerri! One seemingly small, but very important commitment to making Sunday rest feasible was learning that I absolutely cannot do a Monday commitment first thing. Our homeschool co-op met on Mondays, and it wreaked havoc on our Sundays. It was a factor in the most exhausting fall of my life when my husband was working crazy hours, I was trying to teach a class and deal with a baby... etc... It was just this constant scramble. We did church and a family lunch, and then by the time I got home I was scrambling to get things together and felt pressured and tired. I resented the family time, and was anxious. The weeks that my husband work six days we had no family down time. Never again. If it's on Monday we're not doing it. I need to know that we'll start the day with a normal rhythm and if needed I can put the house back together. Usually by Sunday evening I'm moving towards a bit of a reset so we start the week on the right foot, but the scramble for a big outing was terrible. A long winded way of saying -- sometimes the "small" things really are a big deal! I think Leila Lawler has talked about this idea of planning for rest quite extensively and that's been helpful -- even (especially?) around household work and children and planning to rest in a busy household.