A Practical Exercise to Help You Get Less Frustrated
Do you ever get really annoyed with someone for leaving stuff all over the place? Maybe you’re tripping on their shoes when you come in the front door because they walked in ahead of you and didn’t put them away, or dread waking up to dirty dishes in the sink.
Or, are you frustrated by other people who chirp about how easy it is to stay organised? Maybe a colleague boasts about his email inbox zero because he never waits more than 24 hours to reply to anything, or you watched clip of an instagram guru whose lint filter was pristine because she never skipped emptying it between loads.
Sometimes life can be extremely frustrating when you have to share it with others who don’t work in the same way you do when it comes to getting things done.
Here’s a tip to save your sanity: figure out if you’re a “deal-with-it-as-it-comes” person, or a “deal-with-it-all-at-once” person. Then figure it out about the people you live and work with.
Once you know the type you tend to be and the type they tend to be, it’s easier to be less frustrated. Sure, they may not wash their cup immediately, but does it mean they’ll never do it, or does it just mean they’ll do it later than you’d prefer? Or, when that cheerfully organised chap insists that your life would be better if you would just respond immediately, you can relax knowing that, for you, responding after a reasonable amount of time is a better fit. It doesn’t mean you’re lazy, just different.1
Here are some questions to help you figure it out:
When snail mail arrives, do you sort it through right away, or do you make a bigger pile that you sort all at once?
When you use a cup, do you put it in the sink to wash later with a bigger pile of dirty dishes, or do you wash and dry and maybe even put it away immediately?
Would you rather let clean clothes pile up from several loads of laundry and have a big folding party, or would you rather fold them fresh from the dryer (or drying rack)?
If you have a bigger project going on, would you rather give it an hour a day for a week, or all day on Saturday?
As long as things are getting accomplished by the time they need to be accomplished (if there’s an external deadline), or within a timeframe that you don’t find stressful, there’s really no right or wrong to the method that works best for you.
How someone gets things done - slowly or all at once - isn’t a moral issue, it’s just a matter of preference.
Of course, living and working with others who have different preferences can be a challenge! But naming those differences and acknowledging when they’re legitimate2 is a huge step towards less frustration and more inner peace.
If these ideas were helpful to you, please share!
Of course, laziness is part of the fallen human condition and we’re all tempted to it at times. But being someone who doesn’t do everything right away doesn’t necessarily, automatically mean you’re lazy. It might just mean that you have a different personality, or different priorities.
Obviously they aren’t always legitimate! The colleague who sends you her part of the project at midnight when she knows you usually go to bed at 8pm isn’t being kind or truly collaborative; the spouse who always nags you about your shoes or the dishes isn’t practicing charity.