Learning from Others' Discernment
Three stories to inspire
Hello! It’s been a very full October in many wonderful ways. In the midst of traveling and hosting and teaching and visiting, I’ve been mulling over some changes around here, which I haven’t yet had time to articulate fully, but I hope to share in the coming month.
The fullness of these days also means that my time for writing has been squeezed a bit thin! I’ve hit pause on paid subscriptions and today I want to share some “discernment stories” from others that I’ve found compelling.
Discernment Is for the Whole of Life
If you grew up in church-y circles, you might associate hearing someone’s “discernment story” with their testimony of how they ended up in a particular permanent state of life, be it married or priest or religious or missionary. But one of my missions in life is to help untangle the idea of discernment from its exclusive association with “vocation” or “permanent state in life.”
Discernment is something that we all need to be doing as we move through life. We need to discern not only to whom we want to vow ourselves, but how we want to spend our precious resources be they time, energy, or material. Discernment doesn’t end when we decide to get married or enter a particular profession. It doesn’t end when we “grow up.” It doesn’t end when we finally buy a house and settle down somewhere. Even when one particular big question seems answered, others will rise up in the natural dynamism of our lives.
And one of the best ways to learn to discern well is to pay attention to others who are doing so; not so that we can make exactly the same decisions they do, or even use all the same methods, but so that we can be exposed to a wide variety of possible things to consider in the discernment process.
Today I’m sharing three stories of discernment, decision-making, and life paths. They’re all very different! You may admire them, or find yourself in slight disbelief. Either way, I hope you pay attention to your reactions towards other people’s discernment, because they can tell you an awful lot about your own.
(And of course, if you find yourself wanting to talk about those reactions and your whole discernment process, that’s what I do with my 1:1 clients.)
“In Which We Buy a Bookstore” by at The Courage to Live It
“We believe in taking risks, yes, but more than that we believe in surrendering to the things that are placed in our path, things that line up with our desire and our calling and our talents and our passions. This fits the bill. We believe in saying YES to those kinds of things, and this is definitely one of those kinds of things.”
“How I found My Work: It’s OK to not quit” by at The Sacred Images Project
“A huge part of my long, strange and meandering path in life has been trying to figure out how to integrate work into my self-understanding. Because integrating work as a part of our identity wasn’t a big part of life growing up in the 60s and 70s. Mainly our parents were interested in trying to avoid it. But work has a lot to do with understanding ourselves.”
“I Quit My Editing Job, Part 2” by at Let It Go
“Several years ago, I would never have thought that God cared about whether or not I was happy with my work. The God I knew back then was stern and judgmental. He looked at my inability to do it all as a colossal failure. He had given me all these good things—the dream job I’d asked for, the four kids I loved—and I was dropping all the balls he’d handed me. I was nothing more than wasted potential that should’ve tried harder.”
I’d love to hear from you: what struck you most about these stories? Did they inspire you to make any changes in your own thinking? Or to take action in some way? Did they give you permission to let go of something you’ve been holding onto?
Thanks for sharing the Hilary White piece - I love hearing these meandering and very personal, particular stories.