Two Practical Exercises to Ease Discernment Fatigue

It's ok to let the small things be small

Photo by Mehdi Mirzaie on Unsplash

A life of discernment and intentional living takes thought and prayer and effort. But sometimes it can be tiring to feel like we’re discerning all the time, that everything is in flux, that our life is nothing but unmade decisions slowly draining us of the will to keep on living.

Ok, maybe that’s an exaggeration! But I’ve certainly had seasons of life where it felt like everything was an open question. On the one hand, it’s exciting. On the other, it’s exhausting.

If you’re in the exhausted camp, this one’s for you. 

Discernment Fatigue

Decision fatigue is a real thing, and while discernment is different than decision making, I think discernment fatigue can be real, too. Sometimes when we’re holding big questions about life - Am I ever going to get married? Should I pursue a new career path? Would our family be better off living somewhere else? - those big questions affect everything else, even the small things.

>> I don’t know if I should buy a toaster, because I always planned to put a toaster on my wedding registry, but I’m 32 years old and could really use a toaster. But there doesn’t seem to be any potential spouse in sight! If I buy this toaster, is that me ‘giving up’ and resigning my life to decades of spinsterhood??

>> I took this job straight out of college because it was in my field and I’ve done really well but I kind of hate it. I’d rather do something else, but I don’t know what, and I know I need to answer these work emails but every time I take on a new project it seems like stepping farther away from the possibility of doing something different and my colleague needed a reply 48 hours ago but I don’t know what to say because I just feel trapped.

>> The kids’ shoes are always all over the house and I know I should just install a shoe cabinet near the door, but then I’d be drilling into the walls which means this is like a permanent home, and I kind of want to move to a different city, but I’m not sure if we’re going to do that or not. Should I just spend the money and install the shoe cabinet or should I get some baskets we can take with us when we move, even if they will also drive me nuts because they aren’t as tidy as a shoe cabinet?

The angst about a toaster or a work project or a shoe cabinet isn’t about those small things: it’s about the big things that we don’t have an answer for right now. 

And while discernment is a spiritual practice that helps us dialogue with God about the big things, it also involves practicality about the small things. It’s possible for angst to trickle down to our daily lives; but it’s also possible for peace to flow upwards from the daily details to the larger issues.

So this week’s topic is eminently practical: here are two exercises you can do right now, to help ease the angst and be less tired.