What’s Underneath Your Discernment?
Check Your Presuppositions
If you’re new around here, welcome! I help people learn to discern their lives so they can live with purpose and peace. Sometimes that involves big questions about career, relationships, or education, and sometimes that involves smaller (but usually no less significant!) questions about whether or not to buy a stand mixer, take a pottery class, or visit a new city.
My job is to ask the questions that get you thinking and praying about all the things that might be tangled up together in your life: your fear of leaving a stable job; your joy in turning clay into cups; and your great-uncle’s voice telling you that painfully hard work is the only valuable thing in this world.
These questions are always asked in light of faith, because our spiritual lives are not something that belong in a box on Sundays.
Since 1:1 client work isn’t a good fit for everyone, I thought I would start a mini email series sharing some of the questions that come up on a frequent basis with my clients, and frankly, in my own decision-making!
These will be short and sweet and helpful.
Here’s the first one:
Am I working from any false premises?
A false premise means that we’re operating from something untrue and/or unhelpful. It then leads to problematic discernment!
If I assume, for example, that water temperature makes no difference when washing clothes, I might choose to wash different types of fabrics and colors all together. And then I might end up with shrunken sweaters or mud-colored t-shirts.
Here are some common false premises that come up repeatedly in my line of work (in no particular order).
If I don’t work 40/60/80 hours per week, without a valid ‘excuse’ like raising children, I’m lazy. Even if I could pay my bills by working less. Premise: Laziness is tied to an arbitrary, culturally-defined number under which we may not dip.
If I don’t work hard, God won’t love me. Premise: God’s love must be earned.
I would like to x, but I haven’t managed to do it. I just need to try harder. Premise: Not trying hard enough is the only reason things are not accomplished.
If God is silent, He’s mad at me. Premise: God’s silence can only indicate anger or disappointment.
If I don’t have a husband/ children/ [other thing that can’t be earned], it’s because I’m not good enough. I must be doing something wrong. Premise: Gifts are rewards that can be earned.
If the outcome of my discernment was bad, I must have made a bad discernment. Premise: Our process always perfectly controls the outcome.
These are just a few examples, but I hope they help you to start exploring what kind of presuppositions might be hiding underneath your decision-making and discernment.
And I’d love to hear from you: have you discovered any false premises lurking about in your own life?
“I would like to x, but I haven’t managed to do it. I just need to try harder. Premise: Not trying hard enough is the only reason things are not accomplished.”
I know better. I tell this to people all the time. But when it comes to my own to do list I often fall into the “try harder” trap.