A Recipe for Sunday Rest

Figure out what works for you

Photo by Aleksandar Cvetanovic on Unsplash. (Wouldn’t it be lovely to nap with the peaceful intensity of a cat?)

Not long ago, I asked, Are You Going to Rest? [There’s an audio edition for paid subscibers here.]

For many of us in this culture of productivity, rest can make us feel uneasy. Itchy. Uncomfortable. 

Sometimes, that’s because we’re afraid of stillness and silence. Sometimes, it’s because we’re addicted to the “gold stars” we give ourselves, or others give us, when we achieve something. Sometimes, it’s because we’re afraid that if we stop, we’ll never start again. And sometimes it’s because we haven’t really taken time to discern what “rest” means for us.

After reading

Dixie Dillon Lane

’s excellent article questioning why we valorize busyness, I was drawn to think about how my approach to Sunday rest has shifted in the last 5 years or so.

Worship, First

For Christians, Sunday rest is primarily about worship. This goes all the way back to our Jewish roots: God calls his people out of slavery into freedom, not so that they can do whatever they want, but so that they can worship Him. The early Christians continued this tradition. Justin Martyr, writing c.156 AD, explains how “all who live in cities or in the country gather together to one place” to read the scriptures and celebrate the eucharist. Go read his account: It’s pretty cool to see how as a community, we’ve been doing the same thing for centuries!

Sometimes it can be painful to get up for church, or brave the cold in the winter instead of staying in pajamas all day, but I try to remember that I’m participating in something much bigger than myself, and that there are Christians throughout the world braving death threats to gather on a Sunday. 

But what about after church? The Christian tradition, again going back to its Jewish roots, rejects the idea of working for pay on a Sunday in so far as it is not truly necessary. (Obviously, some professions and situations call for it! No one wants policemen or doctors to be unavailable; some families won’t have food or will lose their homes if they can’t earn.) But to the extent that it’s possible, not working unnecessarily means that some of the work that could otherwise be done on a Sunday, ought to be done on other days. Remember, when the Israelites are given manna from heaven, they’re instructed to gather double on the day prior to the sabbath so that they’ll be able to rest properly.

My Shift

The rhythm of our modern world and culture, with Friday having a kind of “finally! the weekend!” vibe, and Saturday taking on a “now I can recover from the week” feeling, often left me feeling like Sunday was the appropriate day to get stuff done in preparation for the week ahead.

But a few years ago, through others sharing their stories, and trying to listen for the Spirit’s prompting in prayer, I began to feel like maybe I should really be resting on Sunday. Not using it to catch up on paid or volunteer work, not saving all my housework for that day, not catching up with everyone everywhere and hosting lots of guests. 

I talked with my husband about it, and we agreed that maybe we should try something different. (Practically speaking, we weren’t feeling very rested on the weekends anyway.) Over the next few years, our Sundays began to take a different shape, where we prioritized rest for ourselves.

We didn’t force ourselves to get up every week for early mass, because we knew we were seriously sleep-deprived and could go a bit later. (Again, this is such a privilege compared to so many of our Christian brothers and sisters in the world!) We said no to invitations, we tried to stay away from phone and email messages, and we cooked only the bare minimum. I didn’t worry about the house being a mess.

What Counts As Rest Depends on You

Now, I know this is a very different picture of Sunday rest than many people have. For some people, (dare I say especially Christian influencers on the internet?) Sunday often looks like carefully ironed tablecloths and fancy candle-light meals with the children wearing their Sunday best. And for many people, that works. It works well for their families, and it works well for their season of life. 

But not everyone rests in the same way. We all share in the call to worship, and to refrain from unnecessary work. These are instructions from God. Outside of that, what “rest” looks like will vary by individual, family, and season of life.

For a mother of a family who spends her weeks buried in laundry and dishes, but who still wants to instill in her children a sense that Sunday is “special”, cooking a labour-intensive meal and having the children’s best clothes stained by it may not be restful.

For a single person who struggles with loneliness, spending the afternoon in pajamas might be disheartening rather than restorative. 

And for the person who works long hours outside the home during the week, spending Sunday “tinkering around the house” doing odd jobs may or may not be restful, depending on what he finds laborious.

What is Laborious For You?

So the key to discerning what Sunday rest looks like for you entails discovering what you find laborious. 

Do you hate cooking? Don’t cook. You can have a “special” meal that entails no cooking on Sunday whatsoever: leftovers, pre-prepared meals, charcuterie boards, make-your-own sandwich bar, and even frozen breakfast waffles.

Is housework a big part of your work life? Try to get ahead in the days leading up to Sunday, or accept that Monday may hold double duty.

Are you bringing work home from the office? Begin to help others shift their expectations around your availability on Sundays. Talk with your boss and colleagues. Add a footer to your emails noting when you’re available for replies. Set your phone to focus mode, or better yet, turn it off all together.

What is Restful For You?

Then, figure out what’s restful for you.

What would you do if you unexpectedly found yourself with a free afternoon, and you couldn’t “get stuff done”? Would you finally pick up that novel you’ve been wanting to read? Would you get your art supplies out and paint? Would you go for a long walk? Would you phone a friend? Would you just take a long, hard nap?

It may take some trial and error, but you can figure out what brings you joy and helps you feel refreshed and more like yourself. Then, include it as part of your Sunday rest. 

(If you’re in survival mode, or coming out of a season where rest was not a regular practice, you may find that sticking to simplicity is necessary for a while. Maybe for 3 months, Sunday naps are standard. Then one day, you may find that you’re no longer quite as exhausted. You may find yourself picking up the guitar for the first time in years, or keen to try that brownie recipe you bookmarked 6 months ago. Pay attention to your body. Don’t force yourself to be interested in things you’re not.)

A “Recipe” for Rest

While everyone will have different approach to what is laborious and what is restful, it can be helpful to think of Sunday rest in certain categories. You can use this ‘recipe’ as guide to help you figure out the shape of your Sundays for the season you’re in. (Remember, after going to church and avoiding unnecessary labour, there are no “shoulds” here!)

1. Resting the body: what do you find restful and refreshing for your body? Is it a nap? Is it a walk in the sunshine? Is it a pick-up soccer game at the park? Is it sitting on the couch sipping a cup of coffee?

2. Restoring the soul: what nourishes your heart and mind? Do you need to escape into a story for the afternoon? Would you like to listen to a symphony, or spend time soaking in beautiful works of art? Maybe you could benefit from a good conversation with a friend or loved one. 

3. Receiving vs. creating: consider whether this is a season of life where rest entails more receptivity - letting beauty, truth, and goodness as expressed by others, or even just silence, fill you up - or whether it entails more creativity - pouring yourself into making things that are good, true, and beautiful. 

4. Nature as God’s first revelation: While the fulness of revelation is found in the person of Jesus Christ, chronologically speaking, the first way God reveals himself is through the creation of the natural universe. This means that nature is important for us! Consider how you might work it into your Sunday. Is this a season where digging in the dirt is refreshing and not laborious? Would a long walk in the countryside, breathing fresh air, be a welcome change from staring at a screen? Do you need to just lay on a blanket and watch the clouds go by?

5. “Treats”: One way we can keep Sunday restful is to keep it special - unlike other days. Many people find it helpful to save certain treats just for Sundays. Now, very often, we associate treats with food, and that is certainly one traditional way to mark a day of rest! If you like cooking or baking dessert, that’s great. But you can also just have a special box of crackers or tea that you only break out on Sundays. 

   And you can reserve other kinds of non-food treats for Sundays, too. Maybe you’ll purchase a pass to a nearby historical house and gardens, and only visit on Sundays. Maybe you’ll have a fun show you only watch on Sundays. Maybe you’ll savour the joy of reading poetry just on Sundays. Whatever is a “treat” for you, try saving it for Sundays, and see what happens!¹

Putting it into Practice

I offer these categories as helpful suggestions, not formulaic dictations. It would be silly to make Sundays more burdensome in an effort to rest more! And of course, trying to incorporate everything into every Sunday probably wouldn’t be very restful, either.

Start small and don’t forget to keep an experimental mindset. Ask the Lord to help you learn how you can “honor the Sabbath day and keep it holy.”

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And I’d love to hear from you: what does Sunday rest look like in your home?

1. In her book, The Happiness Project, Gretchen Rubin has a whole chapter dedicated to how anticipation is key to happiness. You can read a little summary here.